The following post is my response to a blog post by Irony Sub discussing her struggle to reconcile being a lady as she was brought up to be vs. being her true self--a sex-positive submissive.
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When it comes to the good girl/bad girl paradox I can say this about me:
I'm a total lady in the streets but a freak in the sheets. :D Guys love that Dom or not.
As for pain--no thanks. I'm a wimp (low pain threshold). However, I had a lover slap my pussy (as it turns out he's a Dom in the lifestyle). At first I was stunned, but he kept doing it and I got wetter, and wetter then begged him not to stop. This was all before my journey to understand D/s. I was with that lover again, while having sex I asked him to slap me but I couldn't say "slap my pussy." I felt uncomfortable asking for it. Oh yes give it to me, but don't make me say it.
I loved it yet at the same time it unnerved me. Why? I was ignorant to BDSM and equated the pussy slapping with brutality, which I abhor. And I couldn't wrap my head around liking something like this. Then, while on my D/s journey and accepting my submissive self my Dom gave me as a gift the book "Different Loving: The World of Sexual Dominance and Submission." It explained so much. I had several light bulb moments. I learned the vocabulary for what I was feeling and needed as well as why. It's about enhancing sexual pleasure...period. And it's all based on the intent of the acts. So a behavior may look the same but it's the intent that sets the look-a-like behaviors apart (of course as well as being consensual). Reading those passages really helped me to understand BDSM, and my need for enhanced sexual sensation as well as taught me the vocabulary to express those needs.
Some of us need heightened sexual sensation, and that's more than okay.
-H
Posts
6 stimulate me:
Thank you for giving me your insight into my posting as well as the name of a book that was helpful to you. I feel a trip to the bookstore coming on tomorrow at lunch! I still am at a point where I want to read anything and everything that will help me understand ... well, me(!!) more.
Irony's sub
It seems that this past week we were on the same wave-length. Your thoughts helped me to work through some things. So thank you as well.
-H
very hot...
My lovely other half G enjoys the same type of clit/pussy stimulation. At first I was hesitant to slap her, ignorance on my part equating any sort of slap like that would cause pain. Getting over my pre conceived notions didnt take long thanks to my helpful loving partner Georgia. Now we have graduated to all kinds of types of toys to stimulate her clit. Always wonderful to look back to see yourself maturing as a kinky person.
Jay M
Thank you for you wise words.
I've just discovered your little gem of a blog and will be an avid reader.
-Lil
Welcome and thank you Lilith. I'm looking forward to perusing your blog.
-H
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