Tuesday, July 22, 2014

Love, Sex, and Relationships

TMI Tuesday - July 22, 2014


Can we talk... relationships?


1. What's the first thing that pops into your mind when you see an attractive person?

Hard to answer because I get caught up in attractive vs. attraction. If we are talking nice looking I might study the features that I think make them attractive. If I sense sex appeal, I take that in and admire it. I once read that [heterosexual] men see an attractive woman and immediately think "I want to fuck her or I wonder how she is in bed."

2. What is your idea of a dream date? Describe the person and the type of date experience.


Someone who is intelligent, interesting, worldly and an excellent conversationalist. Who can take an interest in my views as well as be open and informative on his own viewpoints. A snazzy dresser would be the cherry on top. It should go without saying but it is VERY important to me so I will say it--good hygiene. The date should include a leisurely dinner where we talk, laugh, and joke. I don't care if the date is a day of hiking, a night of dancing or a performance art show.

3. How many serious relationships have you had? Were you in love?

I won't count high school boyfriends...lol. Four maybe five serious relationships. I was in love once.

4. How many casual sexual relationships have you had?

Good heavens too many to count. And I am talking relationships, not just flings or one-offs. Or should I count those too?



5. What will ruin a relationship for you?

Deception. But not that in and of itself, it depends on the degree or seriousness.

Bonus: What is your definition of sexy?

Too too hard to define though I find women sexy more often than men. The underlying component of all people I find sexy is an air of confidence. Yes, confidence is sexy.


-H

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Tuesday, July 15, 2014

Fight For Your Right To Party!

TMI Tuesday - July 15, 2014

Party Fears


Good News: You’ve been invited to party!
Bad News: You have certain concerns. . .

My answers are in bold pink and expounded upon when necessary.

1) Arrival. Are you afraid (a) that you can’t find the address, (b) that you will be early, (c) that you will be late, (d) other?

I worry about not finding the address to places I have not been before, especially if it is a sketchy neighborhood. To cut down on worrying I always map my route before I leave for the party/event and make a print out if difficult and detailed directions, otherwise I make a few handwritten notes. Sometimes I use my phone's gps but I think that gps tells maneuvers too late so I rarely use it.

2) Clothing. Are you afraid (a) you will be underdressed, (b) overdressed, (c) dressed for the wrong activity, (d) don’t have items that you need, e.g. swimsuit, (e) other?

I don't worry about how my clothes will look but I would rather be overdressed than underdressed.


3) Drinks. Are you afraid that (a) you will drink too much, (b) that you will drink too little, (c) other people will drink too much, (d) there won’t be anything good that’s non-alcoholic, (e) other?

Not a worry but a slight concern so I always take along bottled water. Depending upon type of event I will take a case of water--enough for me or to share. I always walk with bottled water.

4) Food. Are you afraid that (a) the food will be too new-fangled and trendy, (b) the food will be conventional and boring, (c) there won’t be anything you want to eat, (d) there won’t be any food and you are hungry, (e) other?

Definitely (C). I am a picky eater. I like quality food, I'm not big on sauces, I eat a minimal amount of prepared food, I don't eat chicken, I'm not a fan of meat, I won't eat from a buffet unless I am first in line (and all other prereqs have been met), I like quality ingredients. See the problem? I do love fresh veggies and most seafood.

5) Music. Are you afraid that (a) the music will be too loud, (b) there won’t be music or you won’t be able to hear it, (c) the music will be of a new genre you don’t like or can’t understand, (d) the music will be boring oldies, (e) other?

I love all kinds of music and I like to be exposed to new sounds and artists. My worst fear would be the music is too loud. I do keep foam earplugs in my car because I go to a lot of dances and DJs play the music way too loud!

6) Later. Are you afraid that (a) the party will end too soon and it won’t have been worth the trouble, (b) the party will go on too long, (c) other?

I would hate to have gone to a lot of trouble to get dressed, drive some place and the party ended early unless of course I had another engagement to attend.

7. Afterward. Are you afraid that (a) you will end up in bed with the wrong person and the sex will be bad, (b) that you will end up in bed with the wrong person and the sex will be great, (c) that you will end up in bed with the right person and there won’t be any sex, (d) that you will end up in bed with the right person who wants sex but you are too tired, (e) other?

Ha! I had (B) happen. Complete asshole but gawd was he a great fuck.




-H


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Tuesday, July 1, 2014

My Life

TMI Tuesday - July 1, 2014





1. We learn from our mistakes. What sex or sexual mistakes have you made and learned from, What was the lesson learned?

ANS: I learned that you cannot use good silicone lube on quality silicone toys. If you do, your toy becomes gummy and sticky. Live and learn. Since then I read up on toy care, correct lubes for specific toy material, etc.

2. What risk (sexual or not) would you take if you knew you would not fail?

ANS: Start another business.

3. At what time in your life have you felt most passionate and alive?

ANS: 2007-2009.

4. What one piece of advice about sex would you offer the virgin you?

ANS: Listen to and follow you instincts about people and situations. Your instincts are always right and correct for YOU. Never give pity sex.


5. What are you avoiding?

ANS: Getting a crown on a molar.

6. By what age should you know what you want to do with your life?

ANS: I knew when I was very young that I wanted to write for a living and that morphed into many different jobs in a variety of industries. Not sure of the age but definitely by age 12.


Bonus: Do you think you’ve experienced true intimacy in a relationship?

ANS: Oh that is a tough-y. I believe I had true intimacy with my first love but we were very young, and in college. There is so much you don't know at that age because you have experienced very little of life. For that period in my life it was true intimacy--sharing dreams, hopes, fears, planning a future and more.

-H

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Tuesday, June 24, 2014

School Days and Lessons Learned

TMI Tuesday - June 24, 2014


I was a very good girl in school. Had I known I could get spanked, I'd have been a bad girl.

 Below is a list of academic fields of study. For as many of these disciplines as possible, share a memory. It could be something that happened in class, an Aha! moment, something about the teacher or something that was helpful later in life.


1. English - In high school I had English Lit. My teacher never knew who I was, she always thought I was a different person so I was mark absent for more than half the semester. Later when talking to her I found out she was confused because I wore my hair differently all the time and looked like completely different people. I was distressed because this also meant that she did not properly consider my contributions to class. I liked this teacher well enough but what a ditz! All worked out fine, I always did my work and earned an A. By the way, I am not a fan of English Lit.

2. History - Never liked it as a subject to learn. I still don't like it today. History needs to be presented in palatable way for me to care about it, such as storytelling or movies.

3. Foreign Language (French, Spanish, Latin…) - I love love love languages. I am currently spending leisure time with a French-speaking man from Senegal so I am re-learning French. His English is not that great either and he really really wants to improve. We're a good match.

4. Psychology - I loved this subject in school but fancied Sociology a little more. I use Psychology everyday in marketing and in trying to figure out what the hell is wrong with men in U.S. American society.

5. Mathematics - Yeah about that. Never cared for it much until Algebra, which I loved. Trig--double, triple yick! Let's face it we need math and use it everyday in life. One of my all time favorite teachers was my Geometry teacher. He was such a good teacher and a nice man.

6. Physics - I like it. My professor was a tiny little Indian woman with a great big smile. She made Physics fun. I loved Physics lab and the mandatory journals we had to keep. In our journals, we chronicled everyday physics happening around us. That was the coolest thing because it really made you pay attention to the ordinary things, things you never gave a first or second thought to, and these things involved physics! The journal exercise made me observe and think in a new way.

7. Chemistry - I love a chemical reaction. You know when you meet just the right person that trips your trigger. See there's physics again :-) 

8. Biology - Yes I had this subject in junior high. Also, I remember having to dissect a frog in 8th grade. I got excused from that assignment. I won't go into the white mouse tale.

9. Gym - I wasn't one of the girls that got all hot and sweaty with a boy or made out in the showers with other girls or "assisted" the gym teacher with "gym stuff".

Bonus: Did you have sex education class in school? What grade or age did you have this class? Thinking back on the sex education class what was the most surprising thing you learned? Was this class helpful to you in your sex life?

I know I had sex ed, but I don't know if it was 7, 8 or 9th grade. I don't recall being told anything useful about my own body, definitely didn't learn anything about the male reproductive system. We saw diagrams. Sex ed was not at all helpful except to pound into your brain that having sex will get you pregnant.


-H

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